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ME

Gerald

trouble is my middle name

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where is the goddamn rainbow
Saturday, July 11, 2009
3:50 PM
i wish my mood could be as colouful as this blogskin, unfortunately the only colours i see now is black and white. gloomy to the max.

have you ever felt stuck in a certain situation whereby, wherever or however you move, you are still stuck in the exact same spot? that's what i'm feeling now. i believed the only one who can relate to this kinda situation is kaew. totally. so i'm really glad that you are finally out of that shithole now.

why am i gloomy?

ohh, it's alittle bit of everything. feels alittle depressed, alittle stressed, alittle uncertain.

so what do i need now?

alittle courage, alittle enlightenment, alittle love, ALOT of money.


Root of the problem is that i no longer derived any job satisfaction in my job. i need to move out of it but i can't. to move out of it requires some backup money to last me till i'm ready to start G empire. it takes time to accumulate backup money becos all previous accumulated has gone to singapore's education sucker. do not have enough time to accumulate becos some things couldn't wait. couldn't bring myself to stay longer to accumulate anyway becos i feel like i'm wasting my life doing something which i don't enjoy doing anymore.

alternatively, find a relevant job in singapore that will contribute to startup of G empire. finding a job means need to attend interview. can't attend interview becos i'm not in singapore. can't quit my job now to go back and look for jobs cos i need to serve 3 months notice and clear my loan. so means need to stay for at least 3 more months. but some things couldn't wait! leaving you out of the equation doesn't contribute much. it will just add more weight to my baggage.

i need to strike toto or 4D. then all will be solved.
i wish next lifetime, either reborn me to be a fucking useless wastrel with no ambitions or please give me a fucking silver spoon that wouldn't tarnish.

please do not ask me any questions even if there something which you do not understand.
i have enough questions in my head! i need answers!!

i have been feeding on my dunhill but it's not helping. i need proper sleep.